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So it’s important to engage in this search and eventually to find a companion for this stage of life.
It’s also important to try not to reject old friends along the way.
This isn’t always easy, since it can be hard to put the same energy into old relationships that you did before becoming a parent.
But beware of becoming a mean girl yourself in this process. Ask the adult part of yourself to speak gently and kindly, but with the knowledge of adulthood, to that young, hurt and angry part of you.
At the gymnastics class, adult conversations started and stopped as moms and nannies watched our (mostly) adorable offspring playing like awkward kittens on the equipment.Worse, these feelings colored my sense of who my son was as well.Clearly, my newly revived childhood self seemed to be saying, there was something about me and my child that was keeping these other women from wanting to be my friend or have their children play with mine.My circle of friends had older children, and I wanted someone to compare notes with and share this trip across new, personally uncharted territory.I wanted a buddy who could reassure me that I was a good mom and my child was a good boy even when I was exhausted and he was acting like a miserable two year old.
Do you hope to get it by being part of their group? The first tool that you have is your knowledge that things are not always what they seem to be. If a girl looks happy, she must be happy; or even more concretely, if she is pretty, she is happy.