A black woman dating a white man No email neededfre sex free no sign up
But dating within my race isn’t what I would call a solution either.After living abroad for 10 years now, meeting a man with similar interests, experiences, values and goals is an exercise in frustration as a whole – but narrowing the pool of acceptable applicants to those who share the same skin colour would guarantee me a golden girls' membership in spinsters anonymous.That we all are fierce and indestructible; a trope that lends itself to the dangerous assumption that we don’t need empathy, compassion or support.And I have been left far too many times to repair the wounds of racist comments simply because it was believed I was “better equipped than most” to handle them, when each confrontation tore a chunk out of my will to exist in this world to begin with.
More time than I care to recall, I’m either playing an unwitting role in helping a completely mediocre white guy who’s grown up on really bad hip hop realise his life-long dream of having a sassy black girl on his arm to raise his social capital, or I terrify him with my muscular physique and razor sharp retorts, causing him (or worse, his family) to question their fragile self-image as the spectacular white saviours society has raised them to be. In Australia, I found myself completely at odds with the dating environment, where I was treated more like an exotic curiosity than a human being with a job, thoughts, or feelings.
As a stand-up comedian, my dating life is an infinite well of fodder for my on-stage antics.
Most of the conversations that other women reserve for their Sunday brunch catch-ups with girlfriends or private group chats are all laid out in their plain, naked glory before a crowd of complete strangers who find endless amusement in the cringe worthy and, at times, heartbreaking reality of being a black woman dating in the age of the internet. If that were the case, then we would be suffering from a dire shortage of breathtaking artwork, poetry, architecture, literature, self-help books, bad movies starring Katherine Heigl, faerie tales and overly-saccharine pop tunes that really do a disservice to address the crushing reality of trying to emotionally, intellectually and physically connect with another human being.
I grew up in a small town in the 90's, where I was the only non-white girl in my class at school and my skin colour was a curiosity rather than a threat.
There was no racial tension, but then again, no sense of black community. All the boys I crushed on were white; my first “boyfriend” (aged 10) was white and my first boyfriend (aged 14) was white.